Frustration.

Now that The Boy is in school and have more than three minutes a day to rest my brain, I have been spending more time on nurturing my creative spirit.  I read The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly and it’s been an amazing inspiration.  I cannot say enough good things about this book.  It is luscious, moody, dark, touching and enchanting.  I just wanted to wrap myself up in it.  It is one of the best books I have read in years.  I read all 339 pages in a mere nine days, which is a miracle for a stay at home mama.  It has me wanting to read creepy old fairy tales through the eyes of a mother.  Even the cover is beautiful and inspiring.

I want so badly to start making art again. I’ve been wanting to try my hand at papercutting.  And I found the artist Elsa Mora and her amazing blog.  So inspiring!  And Rob Ryan.  Wow.

But even with The Boy in school, it’s hard for me to find the time to devote to learning a new medium.  Or to find the time to paint.

I’ve been carrying my sketchbook around with me more lately.  And I find that once I start drawing, I am overcome with ideas as one thought comes to me after another.  So for now, this is how I create art.  One little drawing or design at a time.  And I suppose that’s better than nothing.

I know that someday I won’t have small children to take care of.  I won’t have mountains of laundry to do, and a bathroom that always needs scrubbing.  I know that I need to Be Here Now, and enjoy the present moment, but it wouldn’t be all bad if I got to make a little art every day.

I fantasize about having my own studio space someday.  A place where I don’t have to worry about the toxicity of oil paints, or the dangerous nature of x-acto blades and linoleum cutting tools.  Somewhere I can play loud music and not have to referee sibling rivalry every ten minutes.

But for now, I have my sketchbook.  And it’s a start.

May the beauty you love, be what you do. -Rumi