circle of life
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
No sooner had I written that last post, than my grandmother passed away. I don’t usually like to talk about such personal things in this space, but I feel so compelled to do something.
Grief. It has hovered over my home so much in the last year, I can hardly breathe from its heavy burden. It sneaks up on you when you are brushing your teeth or reading a story to the children. And having two young children around, I can’t really pause for a breath. I love them and I want them around, but they don’t get it. So we go on.
That’s surely what my grandmother did. She saw love, loss, pain, joy and peace in her 84 years. I can only imagine how much of it she had in a home with a husband and five children.
I’m coming up on my 40th year here on this planet, and while I don’t consider myself exactly an expert, there is one thing I have learned: life goes on.
Whether you want it to or not.
So I go on. One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time.
She was a crochet-er, my grandmother. She kept her hands busy. Making afghans for family members and new babies. Even though I’m a knitter, I’ve always felt a connection to her through our love of yarn.
How ironic that I started a new baby sweater on the day she passed. Some dear friends are expecting their first, and I am knitting the baby boy a sweater. To keep my hands busy and to welcome new life. As Elizabeth Zimmerman says in her book Knitting Without Tears, “Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crisis.”