On Being a Radical Homemaker
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
I’m reading the book Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes right now, and I couldn’t even wait until it was finished to talk about it here. It has my brain positively buzzing. In a good way.
For those of you who haven’t read it (it seems to be all over the blogosphere right now), it’s about how many modern families have chosen not to participate in our consumer-driven culture, and have decided to take a more holistic approach to running a house and/or raising a family. Who knew how much politics, consumerism, lies and deceit have changed the way housewives work? The first section of the book is the “why” and the second section is the “how”. I am still in the first section of the book, and the sheer amount of information in this book is staggering. This woman has done her homework.
Some fantastic quotes from the book:
“The industrial revolution and subsequent rise of America’s consumer culture had demoted homemaking from a craft tradition to the mindless occupation of primping the house, shopping and chauffeuring.”
“…each of us has a calling or right livelihood that enables us to serve the common good, and in finding this calling, we will be most happy. Few, if any spiritual teachings call us to seek the accumulation of money, stuff, power, or other purely selfish interests. Further, in a life-serving economy, we individually accept responsibility for creating our own joys and pleasures. We do not rely upon corporate America to sell us these things. We take personal and collective responsibility for supplying many of our needs. In taking these steps, we discover that true economic assets, unlike money, are intangible.”
“…the more homemakers are able to do for themselves–whether it be cooking, preserving or growing food, mending clothing or purchasing it used, fixing cars and appliances to avoid replacing them, cleaning with vinegar and water rather than toxic chemicals, or making rather than buying gifts and toys–the less time they exchange for money, the fewer natural resources they require from the planet, and the less they rely upon (and the less they are complicit in) the global extractive economy.”
And it just makes me so happy to read this book. It’s so affirming to my life and how I have chosen to live and raise my family. I think all mothers from time to time wallow in the thought that they are not doing enough, or the Right Thing. But when I think about my life, and how my husband and I have made major sacrifices to be able to raise our children in the way that we feel is right, I realize that I am doing a lot and I am making the right choices. Compared to some I look like a complete nutjob, but thanks to the internet, and many blogs in particular, I know now that I am not alone. And now I feel somehow justified that I want to make everything in my house (see my bio to the left). I’m not crazy!
And let me say here, in the interest of full disclosure, that Ms. Hayes does not imply that Radical Homemakers are only women or housewives. Men are Radical Homemakers, too.
This book is helping me re-affirm that I am indeed doing the right thing, and even though I don’t make a paycheck, what I do is very valuable. Everything I do is important, and there are many facets of The Big Picture: the cooking from scratch, thrift shopping, sewing, knitting, canning, bread baking, toymaking, shopping at local organic farmer’s markets, and just plain choosing to say “no thank you” to a lot of things. Always keeping these words in mind:
Use it up, wear it out, make do or go without.
All of these things (and more) do contribute in a small way to making the world a better place. And this book has already taught me that being a housewife, or stay-at-home-mom, or homemaker, or whatever you want to call it, is important, and is not just taking the easy way out. And according to Shannon Hayes, it’s a downright political act. No longer will I reluctantly have to say “I’m a full-time mom,” when I’m asked the dreaded cocktail party question, “so what do you do?” (I never liked that question anyway, even when I had a paying job.) Now I can say with pride, “I’m a radical homemaker.”
No. 1 — June 15th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I love it. I am going TOMORROW to buy a copy. Thank you so much.
No. 2 — June 16th, 2010 at 5:54 am
I’ve been debating getting that book – looks like it might be worth it!
No. 3 — June 16th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
preach it! you’ve got one of the toughest, most important jobs in the world – and you’re doin a damn good job at it!
No. 4 — June 18th, 2010 at 2:27 am
yes,me too on the buying book wagon… if only amazon would pay you. but. then. oh, damn. irony hits again.
heehee.
No. 5 — June 20th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Guess I gotta get me a copy too. Not sure I can wait to borrow it… and my “Rose Library” is already pretty full.
No. 6 — June 21st, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Thank you for this post. It seems like I feel this guilt or I question my “lack of ambition” on a often, because I have made the choice to stay at home full time and raise my child. Doing exactly that is what my gut tells me is right (to be with my child full time) but society and my own stupid insecurities sometimes belittle my choice, that somehow this is less valid then being a career woman.
I live in a university neighbourhood, and am surrounded with academic mothers, most of whom I think – although supportive in their own rights – must think that I am some sort of alien. I’ve had the “it doesn’t bother you that you are a slave?” comments more than a few times. Funny that, that to raise YOUR own children, take care of YOUR home and family, and handle YOUR own responsibilities equates being a slave to many(??). Have we come that far as women – as a people – that to take care of yourself equates slavery?
Most of my working mother friends pay for their own maids, nannies, gardeners, and groceries delivered to the door. Yet most of them seem completely frazzled and stressed with their lives. AND, i must add. Many don’t work because they need the money but -and I quote – because they want to prove to their (very young) children that “women can do more than that”. One woman told me that “the worst decision she made in her entire life” was taking her 3 year old out of daycare to be home with her full time when she had another baby. This made me feel so sad. So many belittle the raising of children and home, yet struggle and can’t step up or handle it themselves when it comes to it.
I have been referred to by some of these women as a slave – when they see me gardening MY garden, cooking OUR dinner, cleaning OUR house, doing MY laundry, or simply spending an afternoon with MY daughter in the sun. But I will never feel like a slave for taking care of myself and for taking responsibility for my own CHOICES in life. But the ironic thing is, that I see these women as slaves – for I am not the one who is burnt out and miserable. I am the one who is happy. It makes me kind of giggle at the irony.
Ok, total rant, I know it. I can’t even read it over well because the comment box isn’t meant for essays. So I hope that I have made even a little bit of sense. I am always mulling this issue over in my brain and that book has been in my amazon cart for way too long. Maybe today is the day I will order it for myself, and keep it on my table in full view for the world to see :)
Thanks again!
No. 7 — June 25th, 2010 at 11:10 am
This book has been in my amazon shopping cart since you first told me about it….along with a few others…and it is time to buy. I am so inspired and comforted that this homemaking revolution is taking place…we can only hope these concepts spread like fire. I love my job, even though it rips me to my core some days, and wouldnt change being the radical homemaker of our house for anything! I look forward to the opportunity at some “mayoral” event being asked what I do so I can follow your lead and proudly say…”I am a radical homemaker” because, well, I AM!
No. 8 — January 28th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Hi, saw you were into Radical Homemakers too. Do come and visit my Radical Homemaker’s week over at Dreaming Aloud…
http://dreamingaloudnet.blogspot.com/2011/01/radical-homemaking-week-1-beyond.html
No. 9 — May 19th, 2011 at 11:08 am
[…] Also on my mind lately is worm composting, vegetable gardening, chickens, and beekeeping. I’m loving this video on “Backwards Beeekeeping.” All of this inspired by the book The Urban Homestead by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen. I first read about Kelly and Erik in the book Radical Homemakers. […]