finding silence


Oh. Hello.

Here I am, after a long silence. Many times I said I was going to be back. Life is complicated, what can I say?

As my dear wise friend The Bird says, “Sometimes things have to fall apart so they can be rebuilt in a new and better way.” Or something like that.

I felt I had to be quiet for a while to find my voice again.

Let me explain: I am a lover of Pinterest. As a visual person, it is my favorite place to go for visual inspiration. I love seeing what others are up to. What others are making, cooking, spinning, and knitting.

The Internet can be a wonderful place.  I love it. I really, really do. It hasn’t replaced my love of the library, but it’s close.

But honestly, I’ve wondered if I have anything new to add to the conversation. It’s all out there, and seeing the same content over and over is frustrating.

And when I hear women making self-deprecating remarks about how their lives aren’t pin-worthy, it makes me sad.

Like, really, really sad.

I don’t want to make anyone feel bad. I have always tried to live my life for myself, and not worry about the judgement of others, whether it be good or bad. I’m here to live authentically. How many times did I hear my mother say, “Do what makes YOU happy.”

This blog is me. But it’s not all of me. Sure, I have days where I lose my cool with my kids. There are days when the dishes pile up, I spend more time on discipline than homeschool, and I generally question my sanity when it comes to this whole homeschool thing.  There are days when my house looks like a tornado went through it. Sometimes, days pass before I realize I haven’t had a moment to myself.

I am not perfect; I have bad habits and bad days.

But this space is for me to remember. To make those few golden moments memorable. So I don’t forget.

And I give you permission to do the same.

Let us begin: focus on one beautiful moment. The way the dust floats on a beam of light. The way your children are playing together happily for hours without fighting. The beautiful thing that you created with your own hands. The gloriously simple and comforting pot of soup you made for dinner. The joy of putting your feet up after a hard day and reading a great book. The smell of your sweet (not-so-little) baby. The perfect peach you bought at the grocery store. Those moments are there. We have only to realize that our lives are beautiful in ways we never imagined.

My word of the year this year? JOY.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do….And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson





2 Responses to “finding silence”

  1. katie writes:

    this post resonates with me so much! lovey post, lovely quote, lovely perspective!

  2. Emily writes:

    Welcome back! Beautifully said. You’re right a lot of content is regurgitated, but everyone’s opinions and experiences are different and make them unique. Like you said, it’s also somewhat of a virtual diary. I love the word of the year, because not only is it a beautiful word and feeling to focus on, but it’s my middle name and reminds of Pee Wee’s word of the day.

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